*۲ مرداد ۸۴*دنياي سوفي رو مي خونم: آيا بيماري تنبيه الهي ست؟ نمي دونم.آره..شايدم نه..به قصد تنبيه نه! نمي دونم..چرا اين چند روز مدام مريضم؟ به خاطر اينکه قرار بود! برم اين کتاب رو بخرم؟ يه آسمون تصور کن..حالا توي آسمون، يه دسته پرنده ببين! حالا بهم بگو پرنده ها دقيقاً چند تا بودن؟ ...نمي دوني! کي تعداد دقيق پرنده ها رو مشخص مي کنه؟ مسلماً اون، تو نيستي! ...
*Once you accept someone for who and what they really are,they will really surprise you by being better than you ever expected.
*Fate determines who comes into our lives. The heart determines who stays . . .
سرنوشت تعيين مي کنه کي بياد توي زندگيت؛ قلبت تصميم مي گيره کي بمونه! . . .
Happiness is knowing . . .
Happiness is knowing that somewhere there is someone who only cares for you.., Someone who will pick you up when you fall..,
Someone who only knows you.., Who will hold you when you cry and embrace you when you smile.., Happiness is when you know
that person is just for you . . . "
" If you love some one tell that person your in love.., Tell that you love that person or tomorrow will be to late . . ."
اگه کسي رو دوست داري، بهش بگو.بهش بگو که دوستش داري؛ ممکنه فردا خيلي دير باشه . . .
*۱ مرداد ۸۴توي آرشيو! مي گردم.نوشته:
" With a smile, everyone speaks the same language . . . "
*if you really love someone, then distance matters only to the mind...not to the heart...
*قراره امروز امتحان نيم-ترم باشه ولي هيچ کس عين خيالش نيست.شهاب و امير از روي ورک بوک من مي نويسن.ساغر با دخترخاله ش -که اومده مهموني- حرف مي زنه.مريم لکچرش رو آماده مي کنه و عليرضا هم که پاش رو شکسته، ساکته!تنها کسي که تعجب کرد و پرسيد چي شده، من بودم.ظاهراً شکستن پا! نوبتيه.ميگن اول شهاب بود، بعد امير، حالا هم عليرضا! فقط من کتاب دستمه؛ بي خيال ميشم.امتحان کنسل ميشه.همه چيز مث هميشه س.انگار فقط من و مريم سر کلاسيم.بقيه خلاصن.نمي دونم چرا ياد اون روزا ميفتم.تقريباً يه سال پيش..يه ذره کمتر..هوا داشت تاريک ميشد...اونجا رو دوست داشتم.اون بوي عطر..که هيچ وقت نفهميدم از کجا ميومد.چند بار فکر کردم لابد عطر يکي از بچه هاي کلاسه..يا حتي عطر خودمه.فکر کردم شايد خودم بوي عطره رو اول متوجه نميشم؛ الان دارم حسش مي کنم.ولي هيچ کدوم اينا نبود.به خيلي چيزا فکر کردم.درختاي پشت ساختمون کلاس..شوينده اي که براي تميز کردن راهرو ممکنه استفاده کنن -اون ساعت، کسي اونجا رو تميز نمي کنه که! - ولي هيچ کدوم نبود.مث يه نسيم ميومد و مي رفت.برام شده بود مث يه نشونه.نفهميدم چي رو مي خواست بفهمم.فقط مي دونستم يه حس خوب بهم مي داد.انگار يه راه بود براي اينکه بتونم بعدها خاطره هام رو به ياد بيارم.ميگن رايحه ها خيلي راحت مي تونن خيلي چيزا رو يادت بيارن؛ حتي زودتر از دفتر خاطرات، مي تونن خاطره ها رو زنده کنن.
به بودنش عادت کرده بودم.وقتي ميومد، يه نفس عميق مي کشيدم (: به هيچ کس چيزي درباره ش نگفتم.شايد لازم نبود.هرچند خيلي چيزاي نالازم! رو به خيليا مي گفتم.يه روز سر کلاس زبان دوباره اون رايحه اومد سراغم.بي اختيار اطراف رو نگاه کردم.اشک توي چشمام جمع شد.يه کلاس کوچيک ۷ نفره -البته الان شديم ۶ تا- رو ميشه خيلي راحت با نگاهت کنترل کني.هيچ کس عطر نزده بود.کسي جايي رو تميز نمي کرد.اونجا درخت گل نداشت...و اون رايحه بود..نه هميشه..گاهي...
امروز، باز يادش افتادم.دلم مي خواست يه دل سير گريه کنم.نمي دونم دقيقاً چرا..فقط مي دونم خيلي وقته گريه نکردم.شايد دو هفته..فکر کردم اگه قلنبه قلنبه اشک بريزم، چي ميشه.همه مريم و عطيه و سارا نيستن که بپرسن چي شده و باهام حرف بزنن.لابد به عقلم شک مي کردن يا حتي بهم مي خنديدن.کلي آبروم مي رفت.ناسلامتي من از همه بزرگترم توي کلاس.فکر کردم ۲۱ سال اونقدر زياد هست که بخوام خودم رو مجبور کنم اشکام رو کنترل کنم! عينکم رو برداشتم ودستم رو آروم گذاشتم توي چشمام: الان نه مريم! خواهش مي کنم...آروم تر شدم.
توي راه برگشت، رفتم توي کتابفروشي سر راهم.کتابفروش خيلي بي حوصله به نظر مي رسه.دو تا کتاب برداشتم.يکي ش دنياي سوفي بود؛ يوستين گوردر...ياد اون دوستي افتادم که سفارش کرده بخونمش و ياد اون يکي کتابفروش که خلاصه ش رو برام گفت:يه فيلسوف براي دختري به اسم سوفي نامه مي نويسه و باهاش درباره فلسفه حرف مي زنه.آموزش مکاتبه اي فلسفه! ميام خونه.ديگه دلم نميخواد گريه کنم.يه لباس گل گشاد مي پوشم.ميخوام خيلي راحت باشم.خواهر گرامي مي خنده بهم :دي هيچ وقت لباساي به اين گشادي نديده بود به تنم! هيچ کس نديده! ميشينم توي اتاق، دو تا شعر از کتاب شل سيلور استاين مي خونم.انگليسي ش رو مي خونم.حالا مي فهمم ترجمه هميشه هم خوب نيست.بعد دنياي سوفي رو شروع مي کنم...کاش کتابفروش برام تعريفش نکرده بود.حالا مي دونم نامه ها درباره چیه!؟ حس مي کنم مث اونم.باغشون رو خيلي راحت براي خودم -بي اختيار- تصويرسازي مي کنم.من اونجام.خود سوفي م.نامه هام رو مي برم بين بوته ها.ميشينم روي زمين.ميخوام فکر کنم...
*۳۱ تير ۸۴*براي همه اونايي که اين ماه، ماه تولدشون بود:
*Some moments . . .
Some moments, some places, some people
Lasts forever in the depths of hearts
Those moments become special
Because of the charming people who shared them.
Those places become special
Because of the lovely people who were there...
And you my dear friend is some one
Who made lots of moments and places like that
Remain deep inside my heart
And that's why this day is very special
To me at least much as it is to you
As it is the day an angel came to earth
To be my friend and whom you are . .
Sth. about LOVE...
*Very often when we met someone we love, he or she belongs to someone else...
*There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person started hating us but because we found
out that they'd be happier if we let them go...
*It's so funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love, while at the back of our minds, we know that the person we
truly love, will always be an exception…
*You will know when you really love someone when you want him/her to be happy even if their happiness means you are not a
part of it...
*If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he/she couldn't stay, don't cry too much...
just be glad that your paths crossed and somehow he/she made you happy even for a while....
*There are some things that we never want to let go of..
people we never want to leave behind.., but keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world, but rather it is the beginning of
a new life...
*Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want him/her to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all he/she have...
*Remember that the best relationship is when your love for each other is greater than your need for each other...
*Two tear drops were floating down the river. One teardrop said to the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost
him. “Who are you..?" "I'm the teardrop of the man who regret letting a girl go..."
Never let regret form part of your life...
*You'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person, your heart breaks into pieces...
and just a quick "Hello" from that person can bring the broken pieces back...
*When you love someone, draw a circle around their name instead of a heart because hearts can be broken but circle never end…
*What would you do if the only person who could make you stop crying is the person who makes you cry...?
*"Every step I took since the moment I could walk, was a step towards finding you.." You don't want to let go; but it's even more
painful to ask someone to stay if you can never make the relationship work out the way it should be...
*LOVE? it's kind of complicated, but I'll tell you This... The second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else
happy, that's love right...
*If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U” and get "HURT". But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT than
have a "HEART" without U”...
*Giving someone all your love, is not an assurance that he will love you back. Don't expect love in return, wait for it to grow in his
heart, if it doesn't, be contented it grows in you...
*It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to fall in love with someone but it takes a
lifetime to really forget someone you have grown to love...
منبع: ايميل فورواردي...(يادش بخير...)
*لينکهاي
سرقتي امروز!
*
زنان، خطري براي دختران*
بچه هاي آخر زمون*
دستور قرمه سبزي :دي*
تاريخچه چلوکباب*
اوشو*
عکس با نور روز!*
قبل و بعد از مصرف لوازم آرايش...*
۱۰ عکس از ۱۰۰ عکسي که دنيا رو تکون داد.*
مهارتهاي دخترا و پسرا در نيمرو درست کردن و بانک رفتن*
آداب و آيين زندگي زرتشتيان در ايران*
چگونه عينکهاي آفتابي رو تست کنيم؟*
آموزش ساخت عکسهاي پانوراما با فتوشاپ*
شازده کوچولو با ترجمه احمد شاملو*
آموزش بستن کره کراوات به ۲ مدل*
گاهي واقعيت با چيزي که شما فکر مي کنين، فرق داره!*۳۰ تير ۸۴*در راستاي improve زبان و ترجمه و اينا، اين متن رو ترجمه کردم و مي دونم که کلي هم غلط غولوط دارم حسابي! ميذارمش اينا بيشتر براي اعتماد به نفسم! اگه اشکالهاش رو بهم بگين، ممنون ميشم:
*Enhancing Relationships . .
Trust...
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence.
She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is
PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of
"PUB".
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No Pointing Fingers...
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me our secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always
bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake,
he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when
we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
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Creating Perfect Relationships...?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find
a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable,
good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me
interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and
replied, "I understand you
need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot
see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the
courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up
and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
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No Overpowering...
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love
will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying
which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and
unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
-------------------------
Right Speech...
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break
off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may
say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily!
Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you
married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me.
Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
-------------------------
Personal Perception...
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the
market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the
husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the
head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let
the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is
no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.Then, they met a young man. He commented,
"Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife
immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and
fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and
never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
-------------------------
Be Patient...
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his
three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away,
hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then
he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience
with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognise the
difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever . . .
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بهتر کردن ارتباط ها-------------------------
اعتماد کنید...اعتماد کردن، یک فاکتور خیلی مهم در ارتباطاته.از بین رفتن اعتماد، به معنی پایان رابطه س.عدم اطمینان، باعث سو ظن میشه.سو ظن باعث عصبانیت و خشم میشه.خشم باعث کینه و دشمنی میشه و کینه هم باعث جدایی میشه.
یک متصدی تلفن بهم گفت که یه روز یه نفر بهم تلفن زد.جواب دادم:برد صنایع همگانی!
...سکوت بود.دوباره تکرار کردم.بازم جواب نداد.وقتی می خواستم تلفن رو قطع کنم، یه صدای زنونه گفت ببخشید.اشتباه گرفتم.شماره رو از توی جیب شوهرم برداشتم ولی نمی دونستم شماره ی کیه!
فقط تصور کن بدون اعتماد دو جانبه چی به سر یک زوج میومد اگه متصدی تلفن به جای برد صنایع همگانی فقط می گفت سلام.
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انگشتهای اشاره گر..نه!مرد از پدر زنش پرسید: بعضی از مردم به خاطر ازدواج موفق ت ازت تعریف و تمجید می کنن.میشه لطفاً رازش رو با من درمیون بذاری؟ پدرزنش لبخندزنان جواب داد: هیچ وقت همسرت رو به خاطر نقطه ضعفهاش یا اشتباهی که مرتکب ميشه، سرزنش نکن.همیشه یادت باشه که اون به خاطر نقطه ضعف هاش نتونست شوهری بهتر از تو پیدا کنه.
همه ما میخوایم که دوست داشته بشیم و بهمون احترام بذارن.همه مردم می ترسن از اینکه آبروشون بره.در کل، وقتی یه نفر یه اشتباهی می کنه، دور و برش رو نگاه می کنه تا يه قربانی پیدا کنه و انگشت اتهام رو به سمت اون دراز کنه.این شروع یه جنگه.باید همیشه یادمون باشه وقتی با یه انگشت، کسی رو نشون میدیم چهار تا انگشت دیگه به سمت خودمونه.اگه ما دیگران رو ببخشیم، اونا هم اشتباهات ما رو نادیده می گیرن.
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ایجاد یک ارتباط عالییه نفر با یه واسطه ازدواج –SDU- ملاقات کرد و گفت که من دنبال یه همسر خوب می گردم.لطفاً کمکم کن تا یه یک همسر مناسب پیدا کنم.متصدی SDU گفت چه جور همسری میخوای؟
-زیبا، مودب، خوش برخورد، دانا که بتونه خوب آواز بخونه و قشنگ برقصه که توی تمام ساعتهای بیکاریم، با هم باشیم.وقتی احتیاج به مصاحبت و همراهی دارم، برام قصه های جالب بگه و وقتی که میخوام استراحت کنم، ساکت باشه.
متصدی اونجا دقیقاً به حرفاش گوش کرد و بعد گفت فکر کنم شما یه تلویزیون لازم داری.
یه جمله هست که میگه یه مشابهت کامل فقط بين یه زن کور و یه مرد مرده پیدا میشه چون یه زن کور نمی تونه کاستی های شوهرش رو ببینه و یه مرد مرده هم نمی تونه نق زدنهای همسرش رو بشنوه.خیلی از زوجها در مرحله خواستگاری و اظهار عشق، کور و مرده اند و یه ارتباط کامل ابدی رو توی رویاهاشون می بینن.متاسفانه وقتی اون شور و شوق اولیه عشق از بین میره، تازه بیدار میشن و می بینن که ازدواج، یه باغچه گل رز نیست.اون وقته که کابوس شروع میشه.
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تسلط نه!خیلی از ارتباط ها شکست می خورن چون یکی از طرفین سعی می کنه بر دیگری مسلط بشه یا اینکه تقاضاهای زیادی از طرف مقابلش داره.آدمای عاشق دوست دارن فکر کنن که عشق مي تونه بر همه چیز پیروز بشه و همسرشون، عادات بدش رو بعد از ازدواج ترک می کنه.در واقع، قضیه این نیست.یه جمله چینی میگه تغییر دادن شکل یه کوه یا یه رودخانه آسونتر از اینه که بخوای شخصیت یه آدم رو تغییر بدی!
تغییر، آسون نیست.بنابر این توقع زیاد برای تغییر دادن شخصیت همسرتون، باعث ناامیدی و ناخشنودی میشه.اینکه خودمون رو تغییر بدیم و توقعاتمون رو کم کنیم، آسونتره.
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رک و راست صحبت کردنیه جمله چینی هست که میگه یه حرف، می تونه یه ملت رو نابود یا سربلند و موفق کنه.خیلی از ارتباط ها به خاطر حرفهای نادرست گسسته میشن.وقتی یه زوج خیلی به هم نزدیکن، ما اغلب احترام متقابل رو فراموش می کنیم.ما ممکنه هرچیزی رو بگیم بدون اینکه تصور کنیم که حرفمون ممکنه طرف مقابلمون رو برنجونه.
یه دوست و شوهر میلیونرش از مکان ساختمونشون -در حال ساخت بود- دیدن کردن.یه کارگری که کلاه سرش بود، خانومه رو دید و فریاد زد سلام امیلی! منو یادته؟
با هم دوست بوديم...توی راه برگشت به خونه، شوهر میلیونر به شوخی گفت:خوش به حالت که با من ازدواج کردی وگرنه همسر یه کارگر ساختمون میشدی.
همسرش جواب داد: تو باید سپاسگزار باشی که با من ازدواج کردی.در غیر این صورت، اون میلیونر میشد نه تو!
تغییرات زود به زود این چنینی، بذر یه رابطه بد رو میکاره.مث یه تخم مرغ شکسته س که نمیشه نگهش داشت.
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ادراک شخصیاشخاص مختلف، ادراک و دريافتهاي مختلفی دارند.غذای یه نفر، می تونه برای یه نفر دیگه، سم باشه.
یه زوج یه الاغ خریدن.توی راه برگشت به خونه، یه پسر گفت:خیلی احمقن.چرا یکی شون سوار الاغ نمیشه؟به محض اینکه این رو شنیدن، مرد به زنش اجازه داد که سوار الاغه بشه و خودش کنارشون راه می رفت.
یه پیرمرد این رو دید و گفت مرد، رییس خانواده س.چطور زن می تونه سوار الاغ بشه درحالیکه شوهرش پیاده س؟ تا اینو شنیدین، زن از الاغ پیاده شد و گذاشت شوهرش سوار بشه.
توی راه یه خانوم پیر رو دیدن.گفت چطور مرده می تونه سوار الاغ بشه و اجازه بده زنش پیاده بره؟اصلاً مودبانه نیست!
مرد فوراً از زنش خواست که اونم سوار الاغ بشه.
بعدش یه مرد جوون رو سر راه دیدن.گفت الاغ بیچاره! چطور می تونی وزن دو نفر رو تحمل کنی؟خیلی بهت ظلم می کنن.با شنیدن این حرف، هردوشون سریع پیاده شدن و الاغ رو روی شونه هاشون گرفتن و راه افتادن.به نظر می رسید فقط همين یه راه باقی مونده.
یه کم جلوتر روی یه پل باریک، الاغ ترسیده بود و دست و پا می زد.اونا تعادلشون رو از دست دادن و افتادن توی رودخونه.
هرگز نمی تونی کاری کنی که همه تحسینت کنن و هیچ کس محکومت نکنه.نه در گذشته، نه حال و نه حتی در آینده...اگه دلت درباره یه کاری روشنه، به حرفای دیگران اهمیت نده.
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صبور باشاین یه داستان واقعیه که در امریکا اتفاق افتاده:
مرد از خونه ش بیرون اومد تا از کامیون جدیدش لذت ببره.در کمال حيرت، پسر سه ساله ش رو ديد که با خوشحالي، با چکش رو روی رنگ درخشان ماشين مي کوبه.مرد به سمت پسرش دويد، هلش داد عقب و به عنوان تنبيه با چکش زد روی دستش.وقتي پدر آروم شد، پسرش رو سریع به بیمارستان رسوند.اگرچه دکتر نااميدانه سعي کرد تا استخوان هاي خردشده رو نگه داره، در نهايت مجبور شد که انگشت هاي هر دو دست پسر رو قطع کنه.
وقتي پسر بعد از جراحي به هوش اومد و بانداژ رو ديد، معصومانه گفت: بابا! در مورد کاميون متأسفم. بعد پرسيدولی کی انگشتام دوباره رشد می کنن؟
پدر رفت خونه و خودکشي کرد.
دفعه دیگه، وقتی کسی اشتباهاً پات رو لگد کرد یا وقتی خیلی دلت خواست از کسی انتقام بگیری، این داستان رو به یاد بیار.قبل از اینکه صبرت رو درباره کسی که دوستش داری از دست بدی، فکر کن.
کامیون رو میشه تعمیر کرد ولی استخوان های خرد شده و قلبهای شکسته رو معمولاً نه! ما خیلی وقتها نمی تونیم تفاوت بین یه شخص واقعی و یه نمایش رو تشخیص بدیم.فراموش می کنیم که بخشش، عظیم تر از انتقامه.
همه مردم خطا می کنن.ما اجازه داریم اشتباه کنیم ولی رفتار ما موقع عصبانیت همیشه تکرار میشه...
*۲۹ تير ۸۴*امروز در حالي که شديداً داشتم توي دلم نق مي زدم که چرا اين کلاس زبان انقدر بد شده، يک سري اتفاقاتي افتاد که تمام اون ۲ ساعت کلاس رو داشتيم مي خنديديم و جاي همه تون خالي خيلي خوش گذشت.
درسمون درباره what does he look like? و what's he like? بود! وقتي ميگي what does he look like? ، داري درباره ظاهر طرف -شکل و قيافه ش سوال مي کني و خب طرف مقابلت بايد مثلاً يه چيزي درباره قد و وزن و رنگ مو و چشم طرف بگه اما اگه بپرسي what's he like? ، بايد درباره اخلاق و خصوصيات شخصيتي طرف بهت بگه.مکالمه ها شروع شد.شهاب از ساغر درباره مامانش پرسيد -مامان ساغر- اونم شروع کرد توضيح دادن که مامانم موهاي بلند طلايي داره و اينا.ما هم مي خنديديم.teacher هم مي خندید می گفت بسه! حالا نمیخواد انقدر توضیح بدی.بعد تعریف کرد که یکی از دوستاشون شنیده بود که یکی از فامیلهاشون! 1000 سال پیش که تازه شناسنامه میدادن وقتی رفته دنبال شناسنامه، موقعي که ازش پرسيدن اسم مادرت چيه؟ زده مامور ثبت نام رو داغون کرده که به اسم مامان من چي کار داري؟ بعد هم اومده بيرون -احتمالاً انداختنش بيرون!- دفعه هاي بعد هم هربار رفته، آخرش دعوا راه انداخته.
آخرش يکي از فاميلها که توي ثبت احوال آشنا داشته و خواسته مثلاً لطف کرده باشه، رفته براي اين آدم شناسنامه گرفته و وقتي اومده و شناسنامه رو داده دست طرف، يه کتک مفصل خورده چون گفته بوده اسم مادر اين آقا چيه!
ما هم به ساغر گفتيم بايد بلند شي شهاب رو بکشي!
بعد مريم -يه مريم جديده! - يه معما گفت.چطوري با ۴ تا خط، بدون اينکه دستت رو از روي کاغذ برداري مي توني اين نقطه ها رو به هم وصل کني؟
. . .
. . .
. . .
هرچي فکر کردم، نشد.شروع کردم نق زدن.اونم جوابش رو نمي گفت.teacher گفت چيه مريم؟ چرا گريه مي کني؟ :دي گفتم بهش! پرسيد معما چيه؟ شکل رو پاي تخته کشيد.همه شروع کردن به فکر کردن -کلي سر کار بوديم- بعد که ديد نميشه، رفت شوهرش رو صدا زد که بياد کمک کنه؟! ((: بعد از کلي تلاش بي فايده، يه راهنمايي کرد:
مي توني از روي نقطه ها يه کم بري بيرون، بعد دوباره برگردي...
شما هم فکر کنين.جوابش رو بعداً ميگم.
بعد حرف يکي از فاميلهاي مريم اينا شد که مثلاً بگه چه شکليه و اخلاقش چه جوريه؟ teacher دنبال يه پسر مجرد ميگشت.گفت مريم -يعني من!- تو ساکت باش.من خودم مي پرسم! شروع کرد سوال کردن که چند سالشه؟ چه شکليه؟ اسمش چيه؟ چه کاره س؟ خونه داره؟ ماشين داره؟ منم يواش سوالا رو بهش مي رسوندم و تظاهر مي کردم اصلاً حواسم نيست و دارم از پنجره بيرون رو تماشا مي کنم.بعد همه شون تبريک گفتن! شهاب که مي گفت بلند شو شيريني بده!
گفتم خودت ۱۰۰ ساله ميخواي بستني بدي، هنوز ندادي.teacher هم تاييد کرد.اونم گفت خب ميرم ميخرم! بدو بدو رفت بستني خريد.بعدش هم موقع ياد گرفتن اسم حيوونا بيخودي مي خنديديم.
اينم از زبان ياد گرفتن! ما...
*
*When you divorce me, Carry me out in your arms . . .
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I
carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy
bridegroom.
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,
I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between u seemed to
ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in
a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.! But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Then Dew came into my life..
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs.
Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very
attractive to girls."
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.?
I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to go and see it with her.
At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly, she was a good wife.
Every evening she was busy with work around the house. I was sitting in front of the TV. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was
lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, what will you do?"
She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her.
I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried
to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates.
But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together."
I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you,"I said.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, "why..?".
"I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,
"you are not a man!".
And that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of
my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years
with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I
woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before
the divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his
summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on
the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said, "I remember..".
"You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when
we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she
has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention. I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start
from today, don't tell our son. "I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance
of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more.
There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in
my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while
looking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you
now."
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she
sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry
her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.
Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had
been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was
afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to
the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you
will hold me in your arms until we are old.."
I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said.I moved her hand off my head.
"Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't
value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home,
she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs
and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write
the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old . . ."
...با حيرت بهم نگاه کرد؛ دستش رو گذاشت روي پيشوني م.گفت تب نداري! دستش رو از روي پيشوني م کنار زدم.گفتم متاسفم؛ فقط مي تونم بهت بگم متاسفم.نميخوام طلاقش بدم.زندگي مون کسل کننده شده بود شايد به خاطر اينکه من و اون، به جزئيات زندگي اهميتي نمي داديم؛ نه به خاطر اينکه ديگه همديگه رو دوست نداشتيم! ...انگار يهو بيدار شده باشه.يه سيلي محکم بهم زد.بعدش هم در رو به هم کوبيد و با صداي بلند شروع کرد به گريه کردن.از پله ها رفتم پايين...
